Dear Reader:

I have to admit that I am pretty much failing at the self-care this semester.   I am on a hamster wheel of work and family responsibilities, and I am not going to be able to get off of this thing until maybe mid- November, maybe December.    I have not been to yoga in THREE MONTHS.   I have gone walking on the local trails maybe twice since the semester started.   This is extremely unacceptable.  I am finding moments of beauty and gratitude in my days, because that's become such a habit for me, but those moments are taking on the sheen of desperation.   There's not a lot of spaciousness.  Although my recent trip to the big city was a welcome respite, it came at the cost of backed up work and family commitments and, frankly, I only was able to repress my feeling of anxiety at taking that time "off" with a great amount of energy, so I ended up feeling a bit exhausted when I returned and then jumped into an insane two weeks, of which I have finished one.

Tomorrow, however, I have no plans.   I need to grade.  I need to practice.  I need to cook.  I need to do laundry.  I need to spend time with my kids.   I will probably feel guilty that I am not involved in the admissions event at my college.   I will have to talk myself out of feeling like I don't work hard enough.   Which is so ridiculous.  Because, for goodness' sake, how much harder could I actually work here.  How much?  Maybe it's not the same kind of work that others are doing with as many tangible results, but it is good work.  I know it.  There's just too damn much of it.  

And, I'm dealing with the emotional aftermath of some family stuff (not my story to tell and nothing, in the end, which is materially going to affect our family in the important areas of life) on top of all of the work stuff.  

So here's what I am hoping to focus on this weekend:

I'm not terribly sure that this isn't a spurious internet quote, but whether or not John Lennon said it, IT'S TRUE.

Also, this:

Right, you guys?  

So, I know that I will get through this patch of intensity.   I am not perfect.   Everything doesn't always work out the way I'd like it to.   But, I am pretty remarkable.   And, I am surrounded by pretty remarkable people.   And, I love them and life.   And, I will learn from this semester and build in some SPACE and ALONE TIME next semester.   Also, you guys, I am going to the beach for Thanksgiving.  That's just ridiculously wonderful.   So, I'm not that bad off.  

Right now, my nearly 7 year old daughter is asking me to come look at her, since she has just finished wrapping herself up like a mummy in toilet paper.   So, I'll just leave you with this image of the best invention ever, dear reader.   It's (no kidding) a tent bed boat.   Like you can just lay down and take a nap and float down the river.   We're going to ignore the possibility that one could drift off course and end up in a class four rapids, OK?   Ha.   This thing is my idea of perfection:

You understand how awesome this is, right?   Right, dear reader?   :)

See you on the flip side of yet another crazy week, unless I need to express myself mid-week in an effort to manage the crazy.   Have a lovely weekend!

Thanks for reading!