Dear Reader:

All right, y'all.    It's time for me to crank up this blog again for a while.   I need something to keep me on the straight and narrow.   Because, whew.   How 'bout that world right now?   How about all the darn things right now?   Most liberal minded, compassionate, critical thinkers that I know are feeling some serious anxiety right about now.   Like a constant erosion of mental/emotional equanimity.   Crazy political happenings just chipping away at our sense of normalcy and safety and all of the comforting things.   Whew.   I guess I am a fragile little snowflake.

Also, this kind of constant oppressive worry about the outside world just exacerbates the mental/emotional gymnastics that most "highly sensitive" people (ME!) do to keep the balance of sanity.   We just have to work so hard to be normal for our people (in my case, for those two amazing 8 year olds that I am responsible for).

So, the facts are these:   Times are troubled.   I am exhausted trying to remain functional.   I spend too much time online or listening to the news.   I have some trouble remaining engaged with my kiddos because I don't have a social network upon which I can really rely to have consistent in-person conversations about adult things.   Also, I need more adult hugs.  I feel the tentacles of despair sneaking up behind me too much these days.   Also, I'm not exercising - WHICH DOES NOT HELP.   I KNOW.   THANKS FOR REMINDING ME.  (Insert rueful grin here).   Also, I eat healthy every other day or so.   The off-days are not good.   I don't feel physically, mentally, or emotionally healthy right now.    I often feel isolated, unhappy, and lonely.   I feel overweight, both physically and mentally.

On the other hand, I've been doing some better than usual teaching lately.   I got a new car which makes me feel safe and comfortable and glad that I made the investment.   I no longer feel as though I am not going to make it from month to month, financially, since I've added the new duties at my job.   I am planning a trip to Baltimore for a music teachers convention right after a week of break here in March, without kids.   I am planning a trip to the Grand Canyon with kids, brothers, cousins, sisters-in-law in June.   I am planning a trip to visit a dear friend in Cleveland in June.   I am enjoying an online support group for a "Year of Mindfulness" project that I am starting this month.  I am simplifying my life by having deliveries of HelloFresh meals during two weeks of every month and a Green Blender Smoothie ingredient box, once a week.   I have my eye on a semester of sabbatical next spring and a couple of week-long mindfulness/self-compassion retreats.

So, what do I need to do?

Start righting my ship, emotionally and physically speaking.   Get involved in local political activism in ways that feel comfortable to me.   Start making lists.  Start using my Fitbit again.   Write about my eating, exercising, and wellness activities on this blog again.   Start inhabiting my life again, instead of numbing and avoiding.   Accept myself as I am right at this moment.   Make a doctor's appointment and see if I might need some short or long-term help getting back on track toward wellness.   Cultivate relationships that make me feel good about myself and life.   Be more present with my children.

Or maybe, I just need to do one healthy thing tomorrow and write it down.   I don't know.  I'm going to try some stuff.     And, I'm going to post it on Facebook.   Maybe you all can join me in doing one thing at a time and commenting on yours or my progress.   I don't really need advice, y'all.   Just hugs and support and a listening ear or eye....

Thanks for reading!