It's still winter.
Thanks for reading.
OK, I'm not actually done with this post, but - wow - SNOW DAY - LOTS AND LOTS OF SNOW ON THIS DAY. And SICK DAY for my daughter. And OMG, I don't normally mind hanging out at home, but when I know that I can't get out of the house, it's like I am languishing in a Turkish prison. (By the way, what's the deal with Turkish prisons? I assume because they are mentioned so much in spy movies and such that they are a LOT worse than other prisons? Really? How about Estonian prisons? Sicilian prisons? Madagascarian (is that right?) prisons?)
So, here are the mundane specifics:
Total calories consumed: 1539
Total calories burned: 180 (30 minutes on the treadmill)
Breakfast:
Lunch:
Snacks: Banana, pretzels/hummus and this exciting new snack possibility:
These things are pure gold. 3 "slices" equals 140 calories. They are just the right ratio of salt to sweet. I'm in love.
So, my take-away from today was all about PERSPECTIVE. Here are some images to get you in the mood to talk about perspective:
OK, now that we've gotten that out of the way...
One of my less charming qualities (at least in my opinion) is my ability to lose perspective within a very short amount of time. Let's use an example from the past (fictionalized , OF COURSE). Let's say that a 25 year old Lisa just had a date with a nice guy. Let's say that one day passes and there is no further communication from the aforementioned nice guy. 25 year old Lisa then jumps right past a) he's busy and living, you know, an actual life that does not revolve around calling the person he saw JUST YESTERDAY and moves straight through b) he may not be all that interested in pursuing another date with her and swan dives right into c) "I am a totally unlovable person for whom no one could possibly feel any interest or affection." And (here's where I bring it along to my food issues), 25 year old Lisa then gets the pint of Ben and Jerry's and bemoans her outcast state. Yep. Of course, that never actually happened..... No, really.... But, any number of like-minded scenarios did and do occur like that for me on almost a daily basis. Have I mentioned my drama queen voice?
OK, so I tend to overreact sometimes and over-interpret and obsess and, in general, behave like a slightly unhinged person (all of this is, I'm sure, not visible to the naked eye - unless you are my BFF or something). But, I will also say that one of my more charming qualities (at least in my opinion) is my ability to REGAIN my perspective within a very short amount of time. Because while I'm eating that pint of Ben and Jerry's (or now, 3 Pepperidge Farm Salted Pretzel Milano "Slices"), I will probably have an out of body experience where I notice how weirdly similar my crazy is to the crazy of say, Liz Lemon from 30 Rock (if that analogy had been available to 25 year old Lisa - which of course, it wasn't), and how, really, I do have a lot of common sense and how, really, I just had a pleasant date and sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose some and really, well, he might actually call in a few days, and really, well, I could probably use my time better for practicing or studying or whatever it was that 25 year old Lisa was into, and really, well, even if he doesn't call, well - HIS LOSS.
All of this is to highlight that I totally and completely lost perspective today (which is somewhat ironic after my "finding joy" post on Monday). I was up pretty much all night the night before tending to a sick girl and I was anxious about whether or not this interview candidate would get in and whether or not we'd be able to reschedule all of his activities for Friday rather than Thursday (when he was originally scheduled) and whether I would be able to find a babysitter for the time when I needed to rehearse with him for his interview/audition performance tomorrow and I walked straight past "Let's find some solutions" into "I cannot handle my life anymore. At all." and wallowed for about 2 1/2 hours getting NOTHING done. But, then I found a babysitter and my daughter stopped looking quite so sick and I managed to practice for the rehearsal and managed to make sure that everything looked OK for the schedule tomorrow. So, perspective regained. I can do this. Anyway, this losing perspective thing is a trigger for me to eat poorly. I know this. So, in an effort to be proactive here's a list of things that I know make me lose perspective:
1) Prolonged periods of thinking about things over which I have NO CONTROL.
2) Lack of sleep.
3) Stressful conversations with people for whom I am obligated to provide some service or to whom I feel indebted.
4) Too much sugar.
5) Too much food.
6) Lack of mental and emotional space.
7) Lack of solitude.
And, here is a list of things that I know make me gain perspective:
1) Humor.
2) Sleep.
3) Good Conversations with people who have earned the right to hear my stories/troubles.
4) Enough Solitude.
5) Enough Socializing.
6) A good book.
7) MUSIC. (Obviously.)
8) Exercise.
When I feel the "crazy," I need to target one of the items on the "good" list.
In the short term, now that I've regained some modicum of perspective on today's events, I am planning to get through this interview and some lessons tomorrow and have my kids skip their dance classes tomorrow afternoon so that we can do something relaxing and fun and soothing to end our week. And, I'm going to hire a babysitter for Saturday night and go to a party that I was invited to but thought I'd skip. And, I'm going to allocate a small portion of my tax refund this year to a weekend by myself in Asheville - in a hotel - (Fluffy Comforters! Cable TV! Bubble Bath! Bookstores! Sea Salt Caramels (in moderation, of course)!, Art Galleries!). This girl needs something to look forward to after the cessation of this ENDLESS WINTER.
So, Happy Valentine's Day, dear reader.
Thanks for reading!
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