Dear Reader:

A strange thing happens to me every once in a while.   I suspect that it may be that I am, somehow, being visited by an actual muse.   This muse arrives, naturally, right smack dab in the middle of me being overwhelmed with insane levels of stress, both external and internal.   And, it slaps me in the face and tells me to get my shit together and notice all of the humanity and art and life and serious freaking inspiration in the world around me.   It's actually like a fever, you guys.   And, it doesn't block out the "real" life to which I've been giving my attention.   I still have to grade papers and meet students for lessons and attend soul-draining administrative meetings and grieve over hurts both physical and mental and prepare breakfast for the kids and get them to school and wash their clothes and cook dinner.   I still have to do all of that, but I am constantly being slapped in the face and presented with things that fill me with awe and wonder and a sometimes terrifying and thrilling awareness of the brutally beautiful (brutiful - as Glennon Doyle Melton from Momastery calls it) world that I live in.  

I have to admit that I have a love-hate relationship with this muse.   It's so inconvenient.  And, yet so necessary.   And, it is telling me that I have to respond by making some art myself.   I have to play the piano.   Or say the right thing in a meeting to turn it around.  Or unlock a student's problem so that they can move through the door.  Or say just the most loving thing to my child at just the right moment.   Or notice the richness I carry within myself and treat it gently.    Or allow a friend or a colleague the space to bloom in some way.   This muse makes everyday life seem Important.  Meaningful.   Alive.   It can live right alongside irritation, tiredness, dullness, ennui, deep sadness and deep joy (aren't those two things married for all eternity, dear reader?).    Dude, everything seems so, so important.  

So,  here are a few of the gazillion things that I am inspired by right now (you guys, there are a million.  Why can they not spread themselves out over like a month or two):

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/24/opinion/dont-turn-away-from-the-art-of-life.html?_r=0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjoGspzkYw8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvtxjlTUZs8

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/richard-brody/a-masterful-emily-dickinson-movie

http://www.pushtheatre.org

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjghYFgt8Zk

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/photo-booth/another-side-of-appalachia

OK.  So, I'm pretty sure you're getting the picture.   How am I supposed to function with all of this ridiculousness going on in the world?   I cannot stop noticing it.   Dang.  

I am still trying to figure out how to take care of myself and build more personally healthy habits.  I feel like I make progress and then am easily derailed.   By stress.  By inspiration.  By life.   I want to find some way to channel all of this intense creative energy that I have and focus on making my life beautiful, starting with beautiful health.   I am relieved that the wrist brace I've been wearing has helped my finger numbness problem (knock on wood).   But, I feel crappy and overweight and unattractive.   Sorry, but there it is.  And, I am trying to be less hard on myself, but it is so deeply imbedded in me that I have to "improve" myself that I can begin to recognize how awesome I am and what a wonderful human being I am, but I still think I should be better in some way.      I am working on turning my self-critical language into more positive language.  I really am.  And, I'll keep trying.  I do have that going for me.  

Well, at least I have the MUSE slapping me around.   Maybe I can grab onto her this time and let her take me somewhere helpful... We'll see.  

In the meantime, thanks for reading my ramblings!