Dear Reader:

Cue end of semester.    Here's a picture of me exiting this cruel month of April:

Am I exaggerating?   I think not.   I am relieved to have survived the recent emotional stress and THREE FULL WEEKS of being as sick as I've ever felt in my life.    I had strep throat, but I also had exhaustion and allowed myself to be run down to empty far longer than I should have.   Which, of course, caused me to handle the stress poorly.    And, then I got more sick.   And, so, so, so fatigued.   I did not bounce back.   I stayed pretty low for a pretty long time.   My kids were getting used to my need to "lie down" all the time.   I just kept pushing through.   And, the work stress increased in huge amounts.   A perfect storm.   

Well, I'm ready to get on the Millennium Falcon and fly my way out of here.  I have to finish my grades tomorrow and then do the graduation thing, but it is done.    No more classes, no more meetings (well maybe one or two).   I am done adulting for a while.

I am feeling better today, but not as good as I want.   If there is one thing I have learned from my recent descent into the dark side, it's that I have to prioritize my health and wellness MUCH MORE than I have been.   In a sense, this blog has been a place where I have reminded myself that I am important.   Apart from my roles.    But, I have yet again allowed my roles and my relationships to take precedence over my own well-being.    This has to stop.  I actually got really scared this time around that it was so hard to regain health.   I'm still not 100%.  

So, this summer has to be the summer of health for me.   I don't want to feel as bad as I have been feeling anymore.   Here it is - in a nutshell:

As my friend Jack says, all I need is some time away from work and parenthood - preferably on the other side of the world.    Turns out that this is exactly what I am going to get.   Two weeks in South Africa.   I'll dip my toes into the place where the Atlantic and Indian Oceans mingle.    I'll learn to play the djembe at an interactive drum circle.   I'll drink some South African wine.   I'll visit Table Mountain.   I'll visit Nelson Mandela's house.   I'll go on a safari drive.  I'll see penguins at Boulder Bay:

It's pretty darn exciting!   And, when I return, the kids will be at summer day camp with their friends each day while I exercise, practice piano and meditation, plant a garden, cook, and read.   And, take one nap each day.    I'll be taking my vitamins.    I'll be treating myself with exquisite care.   I need to heal.   I've been doing too much and caring too much.   I need to be filled up.   I'm going to avoid situations that drain me this summer.   I have quite a journey to get myself back to appropriate and healthy levels of self-care.   

I look forward to chronicling my journey here on the blog, dear reader.    

Thanks for reading!