Dear Reader,

The bedtime routine was blessedly peaceful tonight.  Conflict-free.  That hasn't happened in a while. Some fun book reading, some back rubbing and scratching, the usual ritual of hugs, kisses, pinkie promises (and, in the case of the girl, a boy scout's honor salute and what she calls a "party punch." Ha.)  They were both snoozing away after only about 2 minutes of the back rubbing. Ah, the sweetness of sleeping children.  At one point this afternoon, my daughter asked me how much I loved her.  "With how many suns, Mommy?" is what she said because we play this little game all the time where I tell her that I love her with "the heat of __ suns!" and then she says a bigger number to prove that she loves me more.  So, today, I said that I loved her with the heat of "infinity" suns! She replied that she loves me with the heat of "googol" suns (we get into the abstract mathematical concepts around our house! :)).  And, the look on her face when she said it, well, dear reader, I just want to burn that look into my brain and keep it there for the rest of my life.  Talk about loving with the heat of a gazillion suns.  And, my sweet boy told me tonight that he "really loves spending time with his sweet Mama."  That boy's sweetness disarms me EVERY TIME.  Why can't every night be like this? I suppose because I'd start taking it for granted, right?

This is the end of the Week of Lisa.  Well, all good things must come to an end, eventually, I suppose. :)  Never fear.  Next month is the 44th birthday, so I'll institute another Week of Lisa then.  But, I came across some lovely words today, and you know how much I love words.  The first gift is a quote by Lucille Ball:

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in the world."

Yes. That's definitely true.  It is apparent to me that this blog has become a vehicle for me to cultivate love for myself.  My life and my responsibilities are heavy some days. I get tired and stressed and depressed at times.  I know this is true for every human on the planet and that I am lucky to be in such a privileged position, both economically and culturally.  But, living without any adults in my house and parenting alone while trying to keep myself on top of my professional game gives me very little time or opportunity to just be and focus on living my life according to my own values and inhabiting the moment.  This blog helps me to do that.  And, it also helps me to address the things that get in the way of that.  Not quite as good as a life partner who is a kindred spirit, but, on the other hand, the blog doesn't disappoint me or argue with me or disagree with me, so, you know....It's not so bad! :)

The second gift of words is a poem by May Sarton.  I have seen the first four lines of this poem before but never read the poem in its entirety before today.  Now, I can see what I was missing! What a lovely poem...


Now I become myself.  It's taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time where there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
‘Hurry, you will be dead before--’
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!

Talk about presence and mindfulness.   "Now to stand still, to be here,/Feel my own weight and density!"   Doesn't a good poem that resonates make you feel like you have just put your hands on a perfect shell on the beach?   I can just touch those words and thoughts and turn them around in my hands.   Satisfying.   

So, from the profound to the mundane...  I had a lovely dinner of wafer-thin crackers with smoked gouda with bacon and strawberries:

I plan to have an egg/two sausage links/one piece of toast with butter/coffee tomorrow morning,  a protein shake for lunch, bbq chicken on the grill/broccoli for dinner.   Maybe some nuts and carrots for snacks.   If I can get the babysitter, I'll do a 6pm yoga class and then Mad Men season finale.

I plan two trips to the gym (cardio and weight training) and one long walk on a trail and one 30 min. walk/run this week.  

I'm going to get my hair trimmed/thinned on Tuesday because, as much as I am enjoying it being longer (sort of...), it looks too bushy/too much volume.   I need a little less bulk for summer, so I'm thinking something like this:

Still able to be in the ubiquitous head band, but some layers in the back.   And, maybe, some funky highlights (fuchsia?)

Also, I got some lovely, new fine-point markers to continue my soothing coloring habit (I'm beginning to be really addicted.   Here's my current project:

I have a lesson with a prospective student, some lessons with my pre-college piano kiddos, lunches with colleagues, my every other week therapy appointment, laundry, trips to Goodwill and the library and the dump with some decluttered detritus as a result of this recent read,

Some quality time with this excellent combination of feminist scholarship and yogic meditation,

and some constructive piano practice - currently working on memorizing some Debussy.

So, a good week.   I am going to get started on some serious financial planning/organization/brainstorming this summer, so I've got one or two things on that score to tackle this week.   I'm flirting with the idea of reading a couple of Shakespeare plays this summer.   Ones that are new to me.  I've read 17 of his plays.   I have a goal of reading all of them by the time I reach 50.  It's doable.   I'm thinking "Merry Wives of Windsor" and one of the history plays.

Yeah, my life is rough, isn't it?   Well, two more weeks of kids in school and me with reduced work duties.   Carpe Diem, dear reader.   Carpe Diem.  :)

I hope your week is equally enjoyable.

Thanks for reading!