Today has been a day of playdates and choir rehearsals and fun and meltdowns and parenting and finishing up a significant project on my to-do list. I didn't get the kids into bed until 10:30pm (usual bedtime is 8:30pm) and there was much exhausted crying involved. Hopefully, they will sleep in tomorrow and/or get to bed early tomorrow. There were some lovely moments - a particular moment that I remember fondly was sitting in a playground castle in the breeze and sunshine watching all the kiddos playing harmoniously. Beautiful. I mean, it lasted about 10 minutes, but those were some gorgeous minutes, dear reader. :)
I am feeling a little pensive (not depressed; pensive - there are so many qualities of emotional nuance, aren't there? It is never just sad or happy....) with my emotions close to the surface today. As if the cosmos was tuned into me - or maybe I am just tuned into the cosmos? - the sky was unusually velvety and dark blue tonight. Check this out:
All right. I have so many inchoate ideas that I want to write about these days and sometimes start blog posts in my head, but I am never really sure that I want to go down certain roads in writing (in public) anymore. I think that I am learning that being candid and vulnerable is wonderful, but only in circumstances where it feels natural and right and worth my effort. But, one of the points of this blog (for me - right now) is to offer myself a reminder of the healthy and caring and wise choices that I have made in my daily life to make that life more meaningful, healthy, joyful and fulfilling. So, here are some things that I've done that have made me feel good this week:
1) Planned to attend a Self-Compassion Workshop/Training with Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer (the experts in this field) in DC during Fall Break in October to prepare myself for my sabbatical research.
2) Planned an early March beach trip to the Outer Banks with my kids, who will get a week of spring break while I am on sabbatical, meaning the stars have aligned that we can both take the same week off.
3) Planned a 10 week online Self-Compassion/Mindfulness Certification Training for the spring.
4) Planned a week-long Silent Meditation Retreat with Tara Brach (expert in using mindfulness and meditation techniques to create good mental/emotional health) in late April/early May 2018.
5) Went on three long walks (4 miles or so).
6) Finished a grant report and sent it off.
7) Finished up the business of the fiscal year for the Arts Center.
8) Decided on repertoire for my March solo/collaborative recital (4 or 5 Chopin Preludes, Op. 28 and Ravel's Jeux d'eau!!!!!!!!! - so excited to get started on this).
9) Have started on de-cluttering, cleaning, repairing minor issues around the house and have maintained a progressive, small-step-by-small-step attitude. Am not feeling overwhelmed by housework for the first time in a long time.
10) Have experienced some real, palpable progress toward feeling content in my life as it is now - not wishing for other circumstances (which is probably the scourge of most modern lives).
Life is going to be OK. Sure, we are living in a dystopian political climate and there's much to worry about. But, so much of the way I interact with the world stems from how I interact with myself and how much I respect myself and care for myself. I continue to pay attention to how I feel and try to accept it and feel curious about it. This helps me feel more compassionate to others that exist in my orbit in one way or another. We're all just trying to get by.
Here's some absolutely symmetrical and satisfying beauty to end this post:
Doesn't that make you feel better? Peace and love for the week, dear reader. I start my food intake diary tomorrow and will continue to walk as much as I can. Proud of me!
Thanks for reading!
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