Dear Reader:

I read a book last year (around this time) entitled "Blue Mind:  The Surprising Science that Being Near, In, On, or Under Water Makes you Happier, Healthier, More Connected, and Better at What you Do"  (Author:  Wallace Nichols).    Aside from having the world's longest and most unnecessary subtitle, the book establishes exactly what it purports to argue in its title, but with awesome examples and lots of philosophical and scientifical musings.   I believe it.

I am currently at the beach.   Here's what my eye drank in this evening:

The moon was luminous in the sky at twilight.  Hanging right over the horizon.  When the sun went down, it was reflected on the waves.  Very little wind.  Calm seas.  Not too cold.   Sigh.  Happy sigh.

This semester has, overall, been the most challenging semester I've had in about a dozen years.   Last year around this time, I was reeling from some pretty serious personal disappointments and griefs.  Those ripples are still there, but getting fainter and fainter.   I have been struggling all year with a chronic, mild depression that burst out into more intense periods of gray fog and despair a couple of times.   I am still a little cautious about proclaiming myself on the upswing with regard to that, but I feel more alive and connected now than I did a few months ago.   Fingers crossed.  But, to be honest with you, dear reader, I still feel fragile.   Easily breakable.   It is an interesting dichotomy to be so open to the emotional resonances of others and feel the need to take care of things for them, but to be so callous (sometimes) toward my own struggles.   

I have, frankly, just focused on getting through this semester the best I could and trying to do the right thing more times than I do the wrong thing.   Who knows how successful that's been?   But, getting here to the beach for the week, I felt a bit of pressure ease off of my shoulders.   I didn't bring any projects here.  I didn't bring any self-help or self-improvement books.   This is key!  I think I have been overdosing on the inspirational stuff lately.   What's wrong with just being who I am right now and not trying to live into some utopian ideal of wholehearted joy and gratitude?  I'm tired of seizing the moment sometimes.  Ha.   

So, I am simply accepting the here and now this week.   I brought two novels, a coloring book, the last season of Parks and Recreation on DVD (I can't believe that I still haven't watched it...), a puzzle, and some bubble bath.   I just took a long warm bath and shaved my legs for the first time in forever (TMI?) and put lotion on my skin and clipped my fingernails and realized how very infrequently I take the time to take care of myself.  

I look forward to a low-key holiday (if I can make that happen) and some new plans for exercise, healthy eating, and yoga.   I am going to surround myself with people who can make me laugh.   It's such a relief, isn't it, to be with someone who can lighten things up for you?   Such a relief.   

In the meantime, I'm going to color a bit and then go to bed.  Tomorrow's another day of sand and waves and soothing loveliness.    

Here's my latest symbolic coloring page:

  

Look at those birds taking flight.   I have a little plan in the back of my mind about getting a tiny tattoo on my 45th or 50th birthday.   A little bird in flight....   We'll see if I chicken out or not.  :)

Anyway, I hope that all of my dear readers have a thousand things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.    Wishing you comfort and joy!

Thanks for reading!