Dear Reader:

Happy New Year!  2016!  The calendar year when I turn 45!   All worthy of exclamation points!   I have one more day to stay up late (blogging, of course) and wake up late.  Then, I ease into the new semester after reacquainting myself with getting the kiddos to school on time.   We're going to try getting to the bus again.   Then, the following week, a new semester begins at the college.  Another chance to get it right, dear reader.   That's the pleasure of the academic life.  Really.   The possibility of another beginning.   A constant cycle of beginnings and endings.  

I have all sorts of unrealistic ideas about all sorts of healthy initiatives that usually end up, from past experience, in all sorts of typical New Year's Resolution failures.   I was envisioning myself waking up before 6am, getting on the treadmill for 45 minutes,  making a protein smoothie, perpetually cheerful and energetic and productive.   Then, I looked at myself in the mirror and said - "Self, get a grip.  Don't put such pressure on yourself.   Make small plans.   See what happens.  Enjoy your life.  OK, self?"   This, against most predictable odds, actually calmed me down and took the edge of desperate positivity away from my thoughts.   I felt a sense of peace and acceptance with where I am right now.   I decided that I could try to get a bit more sleep.   Make sure that I got to bed by 10:30pm on school nights?   Wake up at 6:45am?  Have the kids pick out their clothes the night before and put them on before they come downstairs?  See if I can get to the school bus stop  (rather than driving them to school) at least three days a week?   Squeeze in a half hour walk most days at school?   Use my newly purchased Skinnytaste meal planner to have a game plan for dinners during the week.   We'll see how it goes, dear reader.  

I am taking some steps to keep the perspective and peace that I have achieved over this holiday.   My schedule is somewhat less packed this semester.   I have built in some mental and emotional space for myself.   Some regular solitude and self-care.   I have signed up for a yoga class once a week, a massage once a month, and 5 meditation classes.   I do plan to walk every day, even if it is only for 10 minutes.   I am currently trying to decide whether to rejoin Weight Watchers or join this online program with a dietitian/nutritionist that focuses on the emotional blocks that cause people like me to have an unhealthy relationship with food.   You know, dear reader.   Smart, educated, openhearted, wonderful people who somehow have built a belief system that includes some fundamental self-negativity when it comes to weight and body image and attractiveness and health.  Anyway, maybe I will do both programs, but that would be pretty expensive.  I keep flip-flopping.   We'll see.  I'll keep you updated on this, dear reader.   Decisions will be made in the next week.

When I think about myself moving forward in a positive direction, I envision myself finding a good balance between discipline, emotional regulation, and self-compassion.   I want all of those elements to integrate, you know?   So, I have decided that my approach to this needs to be like Michelangelo, chipping away at that lovely sculpture in the block of marble.   The lovely sculpture is my "best" life. I need to experiment with different tools and clear off the things that obscure that ideal form.  

And, speaking of clearing things off, my house decluttering/purging/organizing continues.   This is the scene that I surveyed as I enjoyed the first episode of Downton Abbey Season Six tonight:

Look at this minimal mantel:

And, this newly repurposed children's bookcase:

Also, an organized coat closet:

All of this is me "chipping away" at what seemed like an impossibly overwhelming task of getting my house in order.   Next on the docket is the piano room.  Then, the garage.  Then, some things that have been stored away since I moved here 7 years ago.   This is going to happen.   Too much stuff weighing me down.   

So, here are my self-compassionate, self-initiated plans for the year:

1)  Lose some weight.  I don't know how much.  Just forward progress.  I may get more specific later. 

2) Meal planning and cooking.   Actually do some of this.  I don't know how much.  A little?  Maybe more later?

3) Sleep.   A reasonable amount on most nights.

4)  Learn the Brahms F minor Piano Quintet (my bucket list piece) for a performance in August.   Step by step.

5) Memorize the A minor Sonata by Mozart (K. 310, for those that are knowledgeable).   Just because.

6) Plan for a Two Piano Concert for the spring of 2017.   Pick out repertoire.  Start practicing.

7) Write a pedagogical article, and get it published by the end of the year.

8) Get my resumé ready for some job applications.  See if I can get an interview.   Which may end up making me want to stay where I am.   Who knows?

9) Enjoy my trip to South Africa in May.

10) Enjoy time with my children.   

11) Enjoy time by myself and with friends.

12) Utilize yoga, massage, and meditation to keep me focused on personal peace and satisfaction.

I think, dear reader, that I can make these things happen this year.  Maybe not every day with every single goal.  But, yeah, I can do this.   Continuing gratitude will frame it all.   And, I think some positive changes will result.   Always keeping these somewhat corny platitudes in mind:

Corny or not.  Platitudes or not.   I have to embrace making myself a priority and allowing change to happen.   Life is good.  I'd like for it to continue to be good in new and surprising ways.   

A lot to be hopeful for, dear reader.   Hope your 2016 has some similar open vistas.   Namaste!

Thanks for reading.