Dear Reader,

Exhausted.   That's what I am right now.  I am familiar with this feeling, of course.   It's also called the you-just-gave-a-recital-then-answered-all-the-e-mails-then-taught-your-students-and-got-your-kids-dressed-and-to-school-and-home-and-fed-and-bathed-and-asleep-and-then-you-drove-to-your-mom's-place-and-helped-her-sort-through-things-and-get-ready-to-move-and-then-you-drove-back-and-then-procrastinated-doing-all-of-the-work-that-you-should-be-doing-by-doing-other-things-that-just-make-you-feel-good feeling.  

And, inexplicably, it is 10:42pm and the kids are STILL TALKING IN THEIR BEDROOM UPSTAIRS.   STILL TALKING.  I just can't.   Just can't.  (OK, I went and yelled at them and threatened all sorts of stuffed animal kidnapping and torture...we'll see...)

I slept from 8pm-10pm and then from 11pm-7am yesterday.  And, I'm still tired.   I just need about three days to be on my own in this house just finishing enough things to feel like I'm above water again.  Because it is now so overwhelming that I am actually thinking of watching a Lifetime Movie Marathon and eating refried beans out of a can without heating them.   It's time for my life to be an episode of some gritty reality TV show where a team of people come to my house and throw out a bunch of stuff and teach me how to hold my kids accountable and clean my house and put a bunch of white boards around different rooms to establish rules for my behaviour and yell at me to do push-ups and pull myself together.   Is it bad that I really, really, really want that team of people to come and fix me?   Please?  

OK, tonight I am simply in survival mode.  After finishing this blog post, I shall finish one ongoing load of laundry, pick up the stuff off of the table and the floor in the living room, make the kids' lunches, and get myself to bed.   Tomorrow morning I shall get to work at a reasonable hour, create a quiz for class, grade one set of assignments, and make a list of things to do each day for the next five days.   I CAN DO THIS.

Also, this:

You know.  Just ONE cookie.  Seriously.

So, let's talk about one beautiful moment that I had today - it will make me feel good.   I picked up the kids at preschool and had made plans with another mother (and her two kids) to have dinner together at the restaurant across from campus.  So, we all decided to bundle up and brave the blustery wind and walk over from the preschool to the restaurant.   There are several speed bumps along the way.  My son is FASCINATED by speed bumps.   So, all six of us got in a line and held hands and counted to 3 and jumped over every speed bump along the way.   I felt like I was in an episode of The Waltons.  But in a good way.   It was delightful.  So there, stress!!   I can handle you.   You are never too old to act like a kid.  

So today's stats:

Weight Loss:  Back at 30 lbs. lost.   I am ready to pull myself together and by APRIL, I will be in fight mode.  My goal is now to lose about 5 pounds per month through the end of the summer.  I. will.   do.  this.   (Also, getting excited about getting back in the pool - I.  Heart.  Swimming.)

Total calories consumed today:  1671
Total calories burned today:  200 (30 minutes on treadmill)

Only one pic (of dinner) today:

Today is Gloria Steinem's 80th birthday.  She is a totally and completely awesome human being that I admire greatly.   I found a couple of quotes of hers today that spoke to me:

The impossible goal of "what we should look like" has worn a groove in our brains. it will take the constant intimacy of many new images to blast it out.

Right on, Gloria.  Happy Birthday.   I think this goes for sons and young men, too, for the record.   Let me become intimate with many "new images" about "what I should look like."   And, let me cultivate fearlessness.   That is something worth doing.   For sure.

As for now, a little more sleep will not go amiss.  Thank you, dear reader, for all of the good thoughts that you send my way.  Every little bit helps!

Thanks for reading!