Dear Reader:

Happy New Year's Eve!   I'll keep this one short and sweet.   I'm sitting by a fire in my brother's house while all of the other adults are at a party.   Four kids are sleeping (!) quietly upstairs, and I've got my warm socks, a good book, and a cup of tea.   Pretty much just the way I want it.   I've had dreams in other years about some "When Harry met Sally" type of New Year's Eve celebration - maybe a night out in Vienna to turn over the year, but really, I'm OK with a cozy fire and a book and a cup of tea.  

Today's stats:

Total Calories consumed:  1571
Total Calories burned:  305 (45 minutes on the elliptical)

Breakfast:

Lunch:

Dinner:

Snacks:  More strawberries, one more string cheese, a handful of nuts.

I went to see another movie this afternoon with my sister-in-law.  This was not as artistically wrought as the other two movies that I've watched this week, but it was entirely more moving to me.  In fact, I cried during most of the movie - was actually a little embarrassed about it all because I do not normally cry in movies...   But, it was ultimately about the "letting go" of guilt and shame about the past and hope and optimism even when facing difficult circumstances, so you know that I'm really programmed to love that kind of a message.   It was very cathartic.  

And, I did not partake of more than one handful of my sister-in-law's popcorn.  I did have a Diet Coke, which I have not had in maybe a month?   Weird.  

We are in the waning days of my visit to my brother's house... We're all at that point where we have had a lot of fun together - nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing my kids have a GREAT time with their cousins, but we are starting to all want to get back to our non-holiday lives and maybe have some "alone time" as my kids have learned to put it!  

As you know, dear reader, I'm not into New Year's resolutions.   In fact, the whole looking back and looking forward thing that we get invested in at New Year's seems to work against the mindfulness that I'm trying to create in my life, but I decided to go along with the bandwagon in one area and make a short list of things that I have learned (or more accurately re-learned) in 2013:

1) My kids are the best teachers that I have about learning to live without fear or judgment in the present moment.

2) My kids are way smarter than I am.  Way smarter.  This sometimes exhausts and, maybe, frightens me.  :)

3) I love my kids more than I ever thought was possible.   And, that has made me love all children and, yes, even adults more than I would have in the past.

4) I love the way my body feels when it gets stronger and has more power.

5) I am imperfect and a bit neurotic and am likely to be this way always.   And, it's not that bad.

6) My life is filled with many rich friendships that continue to help me grow and learn to live well.

7) At age 42 and with two 5 year olds and a sometimes demanding job(s), I still have the energy, improbably, to develop a big crush.   This is currently a total source of bemusement and neuroses to me.

8) I believe that I'm in this fight with my weight and food issues for the long haul.  And, I believe that I can, slowly but surely, work my way into a better place.  

9) My life feels like it is in better balance when I spend a certain amount of time at the piano.

10)  This blog is helping me in this journey.   I thank you all for reading, whether we talk about it in real life or not.   I am honored by your presence in my mental world.  

Hope everyone has a lovely year's end.   On to more adventures tomorrow and beyond!

Thanks for reading.