Dear reader:

It is day two of my official journey and this is the second day in a long while (yesterday was the first) that I successfully chose a "fight" over "flight" response to a stressful situation that would normally lead to self-medicating with food.   So, YAHOO!

Calories consumed:  1529
Calories burned:  375 (35 minutes on elliptical trainer) + strength training (leg press, chest press, bicep curl, tricep curl)

Here is the photographic evidence:

Breakfast:

Lunch:

Dinner:

And, I added a pic of one of my favorite snacks (which I had this afternoon):

Edamame Hummus with roasted red pepper on Triscuits.    First of all, can we talk about Triscuits?   Total food from my childhood.   I have a serious love of Triscuits.  It makes me think of the Brady Bunch and my little red pantsuit with the animal patches that my mom sewed for me.   Awesome.   And, edamame hummus with roasted red pepper?  BEST. THING. EVER.   You need to run to Kroger and get some (Sabra brand).   If your Kroger or other store does not have this item, you'll need to get them to order it.  If they refuse, you'll need to move.   Trust me.  It's for your own good.

Back to the fight or flight response thing....So, my typical modus operandi when faced with a particularly stressful situation is to get through it with gritted teeth and then to REWARD myself.  With food, typically.   As in - "Oh, you just had to tell you boss something unpleasant?"  Have some onion rings.   Or, "Oh, your child just bit a playmate at daycare and there needs to be a meeting regarding your parenting style?"   Have a banana split.   And, the thing is this.   It does actually make me feel better.   For a few minutes or an hour or a day.   But, then it makes me feel all sorts of cumulative bad.  So, two doozies of a situation on two separate days of this weekend occurred:

#1:  Epic tantrum in a grocery store produced, directed, and starred in by one of my delightful children.   So bad that I actually texted a friend this message:  "I have never seen anything like this before."  The kind where people are walking by you in the checkout lane with looks of either utter disdain or complete empathy.   Yet, they continue to stare like you are a multi-care pile up on the highway.   And, you can tell that they are questioning whether or not they should offer you help (in the case of the completely empathetic people).

#2:  Total car seat disaster after removing car seat from car to vacuum out six months of preschooler detritus from your back seat.   Aforementioned preschoolers jumping on car seats causing one to ACTUALLY BREAK.  You in a dress and heels sitting on the pavement cursing under breath and vainly trying to jerry-rig remains of car seat together to make it safely to Target to get new car seat.

So, you can see that if there was any justice in this world,  I would take care of these situations and then settle in to a long, extended munch fest involving pork barbecue, pizza, etc., without any repercussions.   Ah, my first world problems.   I'm thinking that Justice probably has better things than this to spend her time on.

So, I did not give in to the Pavlovian response.   I did stop myself and say no to self-medicating with food.   And, I feel good about that.   However, I'm not going to lie.   I do still want a hot fudge sundae - maybe with pecans....   So, I think I need to work on better ways to reward myself for getting through stressful situations without folding.   Better, less fattening, less expensive ways.   I'll start thinking.

In the meantime, I will focus on the message that is on this necklace I bought myself to participate in the "I am enough" collaborative - a movement of self-kindness that I found out about while reading Brené Brown's books ("The Gifts of Imperfection" and "Daring Greatly").

If you are interested in the "I am enough" collaborative, check out this link:

traceyclark.com/iamenough

Thanks for reading!